Last night I went out for a girls’ night with my friend Kim Stiles. She’s a little bit older than me, married with three fantastic kids, and I really love hanging out with her. We went to dinner at the Macaroni Grill and then to the Rave to see The Women. Critics gave the film terrible reviews, but I still enjoyed it. The last scene was especially hilarious, but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone.
It seems like everything I read or see lately has been giving me little glimpses or bits of realization about myself and my life and the path I’ve chosen. Or at least, my journey thus far. I think about how different I am than I was a year ago, and the things I’m interested in now that I wasn’t then, mostly due to new influences and changes in Chris’s and my lifestyle.
Anyway, my take-away from the movie is that it is important, in the midst of making a marriage (or relationship) work and meeting the demands of life and trying to meet the most important expectations of others, that I not lose a sense of myself. As long as I am not compromising who I am, and as long as I am still pursuing a dream – something that is mine, I think I will find myself twenty years from now still as happy in love as I am today and the day I got married. I think I will love being a mom when the time is right, but that in the midst of the compromise and daily effort, if I can hang on to who I am and my own dreams, too, that I will be able to love my children more thoroughly and be friends with them when they are grown.
In some ways, it seems like an impossible challenge to be a great mom and a great wife and still be true to who you are and your own dreams… it seems selfish in some way or something. But I know so many amazing women who are up to the challenge and each day fight for their dreams and for their relationships. I hope that my heart is as strong as theirs, and that I, too, will be take the same stand, unwilling to compromise.