Every so often I feel as if I have lost my voice. Or like it has been taken from me. Like a sucker-punch to the stomach, or having the wind knocked out of me, it’s gone. And I am still trying to figure out what to do when this happens, and how to get it back.
Sometimes it’s more like the feeling of being suffocated, of fighting for air. Because having a voice is as important as having air to breathe. Everyone knows this. That’s why we hear anthropologists and social activists talk about giving a voice to children in poverty, or aids victims, or the people in Darfur, et cetera.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 says, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”
I learned from a Beth Moore bible study last year that the word crushed in that verse refers to that feeling of having the wind knocked out of you. She related it to spiritual circumstances, that sometimes we are in situations where we are overwhelmed and out of words, out of Scripture to speak to a situation. It’s as if every thing we know to be true about God and His will for our lives leaves our heads, and we are verbally paralyzed.
I feel a bit that way today, as if I have had the wind knocked out of me. I am standing still, and the world is spinning madly on around me. If there are words that I should be speaking, I can’t seem to find them. So in my heart, I am pleading out to God that He would fill my mouth with His words, that He would fill my mind with His thoughts, that He would show me where to go from here and how to find my voice again.