Last night I worked on Amy Shireman’s free custom blog for my friend Keli’s giveaway last week. I am super excited about the design — can’t wait to show you.
She asked me to link to ICAN for VBAC awareness. I had no idea what those acronyms stood for, so I had to do some research. VBAC stands for vaginal birth after Cesarean, and ICAN stands for International Cesarean Awareness Network.
At my last post-partum visit, my doctor told me that if I wanted to have a vaginal birth when we have another baby, I “should be okay,” so I haven’t given any of this much thought until now.
I in no way regret scheduling a Cesarean with Mackenzie. I believe it was absolutely the right thing to do, especially given that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, and her heart rate was dropping while they prepped me for the surgery. It was the safest, best option we had to protect her and get her here and into our arms.
But people can be mean, and it’s hard to hear that I didn’t actually “birth” her. My body never went into labor. I don’t feel that I missed out for me. Or on the experience, exactly. It’s hard to find the words.
6 Comments
In the end, you got a baby! Either way that happens is the same result. Plus, you still GREW A BABY for Pete’s sake! 😉 What’s more real than that?
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Dee Reply:
May 26th, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Thank you, Laura! Mackenzie is so perfect. You’re right – all that matters is that she’s here, and we’re both healthy and doing great.
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I will never understand why people think that it’s OK to tell a woman who had a c-section that she didn’t give birth to her child. For the first year of Jack’s life, my mother repeatedly told me that I hadn’t given birth. I have no concept of how a mother can say that to anyone, let alone her own child.
I had two c-sections (one scheduled because Jack was breech and one unplanned after I was stuck at 7 cm for 8 hours with Xander) and I will tell anyone who asks that I gave birth to my boys. Every single day I am thankful for the advancements in medicine that allowed me to safely give birth to my boys. Without those two c-sections, I’m not certain that either of boys would be here right now.
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Dee Reply:
May 26th, 2011 at 9:17 pm
It is so discouraging! I don’t understand it, either. Thanks for your encouragement (and for inadvertently getting me to research this)!
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ugh. mommy judgement is the worst. i feel like i’m dealing with it better with lucy, but i had so much guilt with emma … especially with the breastfeeding issues we had.
i would definitely have hurt feelings if someone told me i didn’t experience “real birth” because i didn’t go into labor or push or whatever. baby at the end? you win!! of course, i had no choice, so i guess that makes me not care one iota what people say or think about my c-section. 😉
i love how totally cool you are. i really do.
and amy’s site looks AMAZING!!! you are amazing!! xo
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People are crazy! You carried your daughter around for 9 months. I don’t understand how anyone could say that you didn’t give birth to her.
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