On Saturday we celebrated Chris’s 31st birthday. That morning, we went strawberry-picking at Bradley Farms in Cottontown, and then had the most amazing, authentic tamales for lunch. That evening, I somehow managed to surprise him with a dinner with about 12 of his closest friends and then a show at the Bluebird Cafe. We had a really wonderful day. I am so thankful for him — for the man he is, for the husband he is to me, and for the father that he to Mackenzie.
I get a lot of comments that we “do a lot” — and we do, we totally do. We’re movers. We like to make things and see progress and experience things. I hear the phrase, “I don’t know how you do it,” A LOT. And sometimes, to be truthful, I have no idea! I don’t know how we do it.
But really, the truth is that we do it all together. We decorate our home together, we clean together, we care for Mackenzie together, we meal plan together, we do our finances together. And while we both tend to be responsible for specific tasks, we are both involved in every aspect of our life. We’re always communicating.
It hasn’t always been this way. There have been months and years when our home life was horribly out of balance. But now — I feel so blessed. Sheryl Sandberg advises women to “make your partner a true partner,” and while that has meant letting go of a lot of control and trusting Chris more all the time, it has truly, truly paid off for both of us.
By no means do we have a perfect marriage. Just the other night we were short with each other. Mackenzie was whining about every.little.thing, and the grace and patience in our home had evaporated like ice on hot pavement.
But we’re happy. And we’re blessed.
When young or newly married couples ask me about our marriage, my best advice is this:
When it gets hard, hang onto each other for dear life, and don’t let go. Dig your nails in. Be tenacious. And pray. Pray like you have never prayed before.
Because it matters. Because this thing you’re building? This LIFE you’re building? It matters more than you will ever know.